Hypocrite, thy name is Michelle

Much like Rush, Michelle Malkin has a problem (only one? hardly, but this one is hilarious!). To wit:

Michelle Malkin: Anchor Baby
11 April 2006 by Mark

Watching Michelle Malkin's blog descend into the undeniable, historically-proven abyss of Fascism -- blaming an internal enemy for a nation's problems -- doesn't have to be all gloom and doom. Sure, she's unhinged. Sure, she's a mirror image of almost every enemy our country has ever fought against, cloaked only in a thin disguise of uberpatriotism. But we can still have fun at her expense.

And, of course, we should.

[snip]

So it behooves us, then, to poke around in Malkin's own backstory a bit to find blobs of truth which we can then stretch into gooey hilarity through the taffy pull of satire. It doesn't take long to find one such bit: Michelle Maglalang was the product of one Dr. Apolo Maglalang and his wife, who he inseminated during what can assume was a disgusting act of utter perversity. Doc Apolo -- sounds like a Marvel Comics villain! -- still works as a pediatrician in New Jersey. He came here on a "work visa" from the Philippines. Shortly thereafter, little Michelle was born, causing (one can assume) great pain as she violently stretched her mother's vagina to the breaking point. (I add that last bit of color commentary only because I know it will drive Malkin absolutely nuts to hear me talking about her mother's vagina, even if only in a clinical way.)

A cursory review of Doc Apolo's medical background comes up empty. He doesn't have any lawsuits pending against him, even though one could argue that conceiving a neo-Nazi* should probably be illegal. He hasn't any citations against him medically, and holds the required medical licenses, etc. But the timing of Malkin's birth is what's important. She was, in fact, what the Right likes to call an "anchor baby" or "jackpot baby":

Put simply, an anchor baby is the offspring of an illegal immigrant who, under current legal interpretation, becomes a U.S. citizen at birth and, in turn, is the means by which parents and relatives can also obtain citizenship for themselves by using the family reunification features of immigration law. (Link)

According to the facts, Doc Apolo arrived in the US under a work visa sometime in 1970, and Malkin was born "months" later, in October. Now it's conceivable that Doc Apolo arrived in the US in January, immediately knocked up the missus, and never intended on using the fetus as a convenience. It's conceivable, but unlikely. The window of opportunity there is just too small, and in all likelihood Doc Apolo arrived here with the full understanding that he was bringing with him a pregnant wife due to give birth sometime inside the term of his visa. But even if he didn't intend on little Michelle being a jackpot baby, the fact that he stayed in the US through October, rather than return to the Philippines like a good immigrant, means Michelle was a jackpot baby --- a fact which immediately granted Doc Apolo's caterwauling spawn legal US citizenship, and tossed a whole bunch of US rights into his family's lap.

What does Ms. Malkin have to say about "anchor babies"? Here's what:

During my book tour across the country for Invasion, this issue came up time and again. In the Southwest, everyone has a story of heavily pregnant women crossing the Mexican border to deliver their "anchor babies." At East Coast hospitals, tales of South Korean "obstetric tourists" abound. (An estimated 5,000 South Korean anchor babies are born in the US every year). And, of course, there's a terrorism angle.

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OopsHilarious!!!!